Happy Holidays Mess No. 2: Potty training (or, ‘How to crap in a wheelbarrow like a pro’)


Hattie is two and a half. She is my second and final child. I can’t express how much I am over scraping poo off her butt. She needs to do her thing in the appropriate place. So decision made, it was time to communicate this to Hattie.
The summer holiday is hailed as the ‘perfect time’ to potty train your toddler. There is not a perfect time. It is not a perfect process and frankly some well adjusted, professional adults still seem to struggle. We (I) faffed about with knickers and praise and gritted teeth for the first couple of weeks and then honestly, buggered off to my mums.
***Admission: I’ve never been in charge of potty training before. My son was in full-time nursery as I was working and I effectively paid them to do it and followed their lead. What I didn’t realise until now is how much I had actually paid them to train me how to do it.
The lowest point (apart from the washing, which actually I don’t mind, I like cleaning products) was walking into the living room from the kitchen to find Hattie had taken off her knickers and placed them on her head. She had found and replaced them with a nappy, and was happily throwing Lego bricks at Simon Cowell who was on Top Gear. Most of this situation I thought was fair, but she was no closer to crapping in the right place.
…..To read the rest of this frankly revolting saga, click here >> …..

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