I loved Trainspotting…I quite like being a mum too, but bloody hell, am I glad it’s the last day of term before the holidays. I’ll be back in January 2014, but until then, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year xx
Choose 50 unenumerated festive jobs alongside the usual weekly marathon.
Choose a career ‘break’ which also means no office Christmas Party.
Choose an extended family, each with their own interpretation of parenting style, appropriate tea time snacks and noisy battery operated presents,
Choose a f**king big television that will only stream CBeebies so you can write 148 Christmas cards that have now missed the last post,
Choose stickle bricks in washing machines, Cheerios in cars,
Haribo in compact disc players, and a tacky non-themed Christmas tree.
Choose persistent poor health, high cholesterol
and post-pregnancy dental woes brought on by a candy cane diet in December.
Choose high-interest credit card repayments and the promise to budget in the New Year.
Choose a dream home, in a magazine and stick it on the fridge as motivation.
Choose your child-free friends and live vicariously through them.
Choose easy to wash leisure wear and Tesco’s ‘Bag for Life’ as luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase
in a range of light fabrics then let the kids loose with felt tips.
Choose DIY projects that will be finished before Christmas and wondering who you
are on a Sunday night.
Choose sitting on that plastic chair watching ear-aching, tear-jerking nativity plays,
Stuffing smuggled in Smarties into your mouth.
Choose cheering like a loon at the end of it all,
Nothing more than an embarrassment to the sugar-fuelled,
End of term-exhausted gremlins
You have spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future. Choose life (it’s alright really xx).